death and active attention

one of concerns in life is death. we have heard abouth life and death and after death in religion but how can we behave when we are faced with , can be a new concept.

in the past , death was as simple as life , but now there are many questions about it as there is about life.

in the book "respect - an exploration" written by sara laurence-lightfoot published by persues books-in year 2000- the last chapter "attention", the answer to question "how to behave one who is facing death or disease going to death" the answer is simply "BE PRESENT" and for the relatives "be present in their loss and grief".

"birth and death join at such moments, inviting our full attention. for the dying and the living. the immediate moment is the most significant. NOW IS ALWAYS.

"active attention is not about shutting up or not talking. it is more about attitude. one of the most important aspects of presence is revealing a gentle curiosity about the person and expect nothing in return."

"dying people want to live their lives the way they,ve always lived them. people don,t fear biological cessation, they fear what dying will do to life the way they have known and experienced it. dying people want to be in control , but they are asking for power over a specific , personal, mundane world of their own."

"the person in crisis wants to know that the healer knows her story implicity and explicity, that it is unique and fascinating, that the healer is listening at this time and this moment to only her story. and she want to be assured that the healer has heard it all before,"